It would appear my squash game is getting better as I won my first game this weekend. OK, yes, I had previously taken The Zozo out for a large meal, fed her booze then woke her from an afternoon nap to play so she may have been a tiny bit off form and she may have won every other game, but that’s beside the point. I’m thinking next week feed her more food, more drink, deny the nap entirely and steal her shoes and I may be able to steal two games of the match 
All this squash (and by all I mean the 3 hours played thus far) is, unfortunately, taking it’s toll on my delicate hands which are used to typing rather than gripping. As a result I have a blister. Actually, let’s be 100% accurate here: I got the blister during the second match, it burst before the end of that and I have since formed a blister on that old blister which has also burst. My thumb is a mess.
To stem the tide of life threatening lesions on my limbs I decided to investigate squash gloves. Turns out there is really only one glove one should be wearing when playing squash and that’s the Bionic squash glove, a rather snazzy white, black and grey affair made with a leather outer in a number of sizes for a perfect fit… of your right hand. That’s right, I can’t find anywhere that stocks the left handed version of this glove and I’m not learning to play squash cack handed.
What I have found is a similar glove for tennis that allows you to buy right, left or both hands. Not knowing the ins and outs of sports equipment I have no idea what the difference between a squash and a tennis glove is. I suspect they’re the same glove so I may well just get the tennis version and hope no one notices.
The biggest problem with going to the gym is that it can be a bit dull. I entertain myself watching films and TV on my iPhone but that only works on the cross trainer and bikes. For everything else it’s whatever is blaring away on the big TV and in the pool, sauna and jacuzzi1 it’s just me and my thoughts. Even when we go together there’s not a huge amount of conversation as the gym doesn’t lend itself to that kind of thing.
There is, of course, another way to get regular exercise that burns off calories very efficiently that couples who Love Each Other Very Much can do. OK, for reasons of endurance, it generally doesn’t last as long as a gym session but it’s much more fun, leaves your heart racing and gives you a warm glow and a happy feeling that just can’t be replicated on a rowing machine. I am, of course, talking about squash2.
Friday was my first ever game (The Zozo had played many times previously) and I learned all about the rules, the etiquette and the fact that overhead smashes generally end up with me driving the ball into the baseboard or the lights (regulation squash courts need to be about 15 foot taller). We then tried a proper match where The Zozo proceeded to hand my butt to me on a plate winning 6 games to 0.
Sunday was my second game and it was clear I’d absorbed the lessons of Friday. No longer was it serve, *swoosh*, point Zozo on every point. On occasion I was able to return shots, even break serves and, sometimes, score points. At times we even managed rallies. While my butt was still handed to me on a plate (7 games to 0) the plate was much less ornate. Next time I may even win a game
1I pay a lot of money for the gym so I use everything to get my monies worth.
2Minds out of the gutter people!