Dom Davis (The Blog)

So apparently there is a trend¹ for eXtreme² iPhone typing emerging on the Internet³ which seems to be the art of typing on your iPhone in odd and difficult places which begs the question: do I perform eXtreme blogging? I do, after all, blog in all kinds of odd places (for example: I’m currently in the gym on the bike punishing myself for putting on a pound over the past two weeks). Not only that but I manually mark up the posts with tags which is a complete bitch on the iPhone keyboard. For example, to create a superscript number for the foot notes involves the following:

• Press the [.123] key
• Press the [#+=] key
• Press the [<] key
• Press the [ABC] key
• Type ‘sup’
• Press the [.123] key
• Press the [#+=] key
• Press the [>] key
• Press the [123] key
• Type ’1′
• Press the [.123] key
• Press the [#+=] key
• Press the [<] key
• Press the [123] key
• Press the [/] key
• Press the [ABC] key
• Type ‘sup’
• Press the [.123] key
• Press the [#+=] key
• Press the [>] key

And the just creates 1 character. Each bold word, hyperlink, footnote and superscript requires similar with just the words and tag names changing. That table took me over 10 minutes to construct even with cut and paste!

So I don’t know. Is it eXtreme blogging? Or is simply hardcore blogging. Perhaps eXtreme blogging is the type you do just before some tragic accident caused by blogging in such an idiotic place in the first place

Anyway, this whole post took over 25 minutes to put together (and I burned over 350Kcals doing it) so I hope you appreciate the love and effort that goes into crafting these posts just for you⁴.

¹OK, 1 person.
²The capitalised X is important. It’s more extreme than just plain on extreme. It’s extreme to the max. And then some.
³And by ‘internet’ I mean ‘Facebook’ and by ‘Facebook’ I mean a single friend mentioned it in a comment to his status.
⁴No, not you⁵.
⁵Yes, you.

The biggest problem with going to the gym is that it can be a bit dull. I entertain myself watching films and TV on my iPhone but that only works on the cross trainer and bikes. For everything else it’s whatever is blaring away on the big TV and in the pool, sauna and jacuzzi¹ it’s just me and my thoughts. Even when we go together there’s not a huge amount of conversation as the gym doesn’t lend itself to that kind of thing.

There is, of course, another way to get regular exercise that burns off calories very efficiently that couples who Love Each Other Very Much can do. OK, for reasons of endurance, it generally doesn’t last as long as a gym session but it’s much more fun, leaves your heart racing and gives you a warm glow and a happy feeling that just can’t be replicated on a rowing machine. I am, of course, talking about squash².

Friday was my first ever game (The Zozo had played many times previously) and I learned all about the rules, the etiquette and the fact that overhead smashes generally end up with me driving the ball into the baseboard or the lights (regulation squash courts need to be about 15 foot taller). We then tried a proper match where The Zozo proceeded to hand my butt to me on a plate winning 6 games to 0.

Sunday was my second game and it was clear I’d absorbed the lessons of Friday. No longer was it serve, *swoosh*, point Zozo on every point. On occasion I was able to return shots, even break serves and, sometimes, score points. At times we even managed rallies. While my butt was still handed to me on a plate (7 games to 0) the plate was much less ornate. Next time I may even win a game

¹I pay a lot of money for the gym so I use everything to get my monies worth.

²Minds out of the gutter people!