Dom Davis (The Blog)

Due to one thing or another I’ve not really been to the gym to work out (I’ve been swimming a couple of times) since I started the All Kebab diet. The gym houses the Official Scales which I use to weigh myself, mainly because the scales I have at home, despite being very flash, don’t seem to want to give a consistent measurement. Personally I blame the fact the floorboards move thus not giving them a stable base but this doesn’t stop them from being utterly useless.

Today will be the first official weigh in. Now I did manage to have a quick workout and weigh in a few days after starting and the initial results were promising, but also due to water loss. If the All Kebab diet really does work then the needle should have shifted so it’s now closer to the 13 then it is to the 14 despite the lack of regular rigorous exercise and the consumption of a lot of bad foods during lunch today.

If the looseness of the jeans are anything to go by then the result should be rather promising

Last weekend I finally got off my arse and went to the gym. And not just for a swim and a sit in the sauna either, I went into the gym proper and did a reasonable workout. Here I learned a number of things:

• My knees aren’t as strong as they used to be which is unrelated to the fact that…
• …I’m nearly 14 stone again…
• …which I kind of knew because I look more pregnant than my wife, and…
• …I look old

The last two points I blame on the great wall of mirrors they have in the gym which I feel are utterly needless. It’s probably because I don’t look in a mirror that often that it’s crept up on me but the person staring back reminds me more of my dad than me. Still, there is only one way to deal with this realisation and that is to ignore the truth and continue believing I look like a [heavily photoshopped] professional portrait taken of me some years ago. If I may quote from Blackadder Goes Forth: “That’s the spirit… if nothing else a firm inability to look facts square in the face will see us through!”

The gym I attend isn’t the cheapest in the world. It’s not the biggest, or the best equipped either. What it is, though, is quiet and the staff are friendly. Quite often I’ll have the entire gym and pool to myself. It also seems that they take forever to make the membership cards, but that seems to have worked in my favour. I renewed my membership in November, went regularly until mid December and then, for one reason or another, haven’t been back until today. At some point during that hiatus they finally sorted my membership card and, because it had been noticed I hadn’t been for a while, added a month onto the membership for free. Which was nice.

The gout does unfortunately mean I’m just in the pool at the moment, but I made up for it by doing 60 laps in 3 tranches of 20 with a session in the sauna in between each. I should probably point out that the pool is only 18m long so it’s not quite as impressive as it sounds but, assuming I don’t cease up overnight, I plan on going again tomorrow.

It’s unfortunate that, for the past month now, I’ve been unable to go to the gym due to ill health. Technically I could have gone last weekend but we had family visiting so I saw them instead. This week was going to see me return with a vengeance… until Thursday when my gout returned. No matter, said I, I can still go swimming… or not as on Friday night something violently disagreed with me and put paid to any swimming for 3 days.

Still, there’s always next week. In the mean time I shall continue throwing handfuls of over the counter Voltarol down my throat in the hope the gout will clear up. I fear it’s going to require a course of the full strength stuff though.

I really don’t get on with the new recumbent bikes at the gym. I think it’s the shape of the saddle which is quite deep that makes them uncomfortable for anything longer than 10 minutes. I’m trying the new upright bike today instead. That said I’m not even sure if I’ll last 10 minutes given my paltry 13 minutes on the cross trainer before a tight chest and shortness of breath forced me to call time. A far cry from the 30 minute sessions I was doing a few weeks ago. Still, some is better than none. And I may have another go after the bike.

It’s not all doom, gloom and lard though. Despite a hedonistic 2 weeks I’ve only gained a lb and I have been managing 1Km in the pool these days. Christmas is going to be a complete write-off with no gym and languishing in my sick bed scoffing chocolate wrapped in bacon and deep fried, but there is a little headroom before 14 stone and there’s always next year to get it back down under 13.

I’m also guessing that the lack of fitness (this has been going on for a couple of weeks now) and the profuse amount of sweat for not a huge amount of work is stone and/or kidney related. There are various indicators for this, not least of which is the slight referred discomfort in one of my gentlemen’s parts (hence the resistance on the bike being dialled waaay back and me stopping very soon). Nothing a gentle swim and languishing in the sauna for 10 minutes can’t cure

One of the main reasons I joined the gum I did is because it has a pool. I love swimming and even if I tire of plodding away on the machines or shifting heavy bits of metal I’m not sure I’ll ever get tired of swimming regularly. There’s even a sauna and jacuzzi for a little but of a relax afterwards. During the off season I often get the whole gym and pool area to myself which is great. The only downside is the pool is 18m long which, for someone as anally retentive as me, is a pain because I can’t do nice round numbers of meters during my swim. I want to swim 1Km, not 1.008!

Anyway, the pool doesn’t always have a lifeguard so it is festooned with signs. Not the old multiple warning “no running, jumping, bombing or heavy petting” ones I remember from public pools in my youth, but individual ones telling us that outdoor shoes cannot be worn in the pool area; there is no running; no diving (about 5 times); no photography with permission (please switch off camera phones); please shower before entering the pool (and after leaving the sauna and steam room); no changing by the poolside; no under 16s in the sauna, steam room or jacuzzi; two huge signs with lots of information about the risks of using the sauna and the steam room; a sign explaining the layout if the jacuzzi and how to enter it; a sign telling us to limit jacuzzi sessions to 10 minutes, a sign indicating that non swimmers are not allowed beyond this point and a sign indicating that non swimmers are not allowed beyond this point. There are also a bunch of informational signs but it’s the last two warning signs I’d like to concentrate on.

Swimming from the shallow end you hit the no non swimmers allowed beyond this point sign. There is an arrow clearly demarcating the part of the pool non swimmers may occupy and the part reserved for swimmers only. Fair enough.

Let’s pretend, for the sake of argument, that we can swim but we prefer the aid of armbands. We can press on, striving for the deep end… for all of 10cm. We’ve now encountered the 2nd sign forbidding armbands beyond this point. This time, however there is no arrow so no indication of where, exactly, the point is. You may have an extra 10cm of pool to use, maybe 15, or possibly a whole 20. You’d think with all the signs it would be clear, but no, utter chaos. Or at least I imagine it would be if I wasn’t in the pool bit by myself enjoying my 10 minute spell in the jacuzzi pondering all the signs.

The shoes I wear to the gym (and the occasional game of squash) are now over 2 years old. Probably nearer 3. They are, to put it mildly, falling to bits. Since I’m now regularly back at the gym I figured it was time to treat myself to some new shoes. As I do intend to play squash again I decided court shoes were in order (I never wear my gym shoes outside) so it was off to the Internet to the best purveyor of sporting goods I know: John Lewis. I very quickly found a pair of snazzy looking Nike Air which I made a note of and took with me to the actual shop, my track record with shoe shopping online not being great. There I was served by a maths genius who told me they were 10% off in the sale so were now £40 not £50. Not one to pass up an extra £5 off I grabbed them and ran.

Today is the first day I’ve worn them to the gym and I’m pleased to announce my performance with my jazzy new shoes is… worse! 22 minutes into my normal 30 minute cross trainer workout I had to bail and hit the cooldown button. I’m also only attempting 20 minutes on the bike. To be fair last week I dialled the strength down on the machines a bit to ease myself back into it but I hadn’t realised I was that out of shape. I’m also a bit worried about the pins and needles I get on the bike after 10 minutes or so.

The good news is that, despite last weeks diet of lard, I lost a lb… or my shoes are a lb lighter.

So, what with stag dos, weddings, honeymoons, general laziness and a myriad of other excuses I’ve not been to the gym since September. Add to that a high sugar, high fat diet and I’ve been getting steadily wider. I did mean to start rectifying this last week, even going so far as to walk to the gym only to find my membership had expired. Unlike pretty much most gyms in this country, my gym doesn’t need 4 years notice to cancel a perpetual direct debit. You pay upfront for 6 months. If you want more you pay again after 6 months. Simples If only it was a tiny bit cheaper…

Anyway, last week I had to go for checkup with the urology unit in Norwich which, among other things, involved weighing me. Now, I only accept weighing from the gym scales as, regardless of how accurate they are, I’ll get similar readings for similar weights and I’m wearing the same clothes each time. Even so, and bearing in mind I was fully clothed, resplendent with jumper, the result was scary. That was it, come Saturday diets and exercise regimes start again!

Previously I’ve been using a collection of apps to track calories and exercise, all offline. Goron, over at soapyfrog has been using My Fitness Pal for similar reasons and has been extolling it’s virtues. Given it was free I thought I’d give it a go and, as a result, have a public profile for you to peek at if you care. Whether I stick with that app or return to my old one very much depends on the food database.

The good news, however, is that, according to the gym scales, the damage of the past 2 months isn’t as bad as feared. I’m a stone over my ideal weight but I can loose that quick enough.

Recently I’ve been walking too and from the gym. This has nothing to do with laughing at people who drive to the gym (we live far enough away that it’s quite acceptable to drive) and everything to do with me worrying about getting a parking space when I get back. Hopefully now that peak season is over and the kids are back at school parking will no longer be an issue, however, I may still walk too and from the gym on occasion as it’s quite a pleasant journey.

My way there is normal enough. Through town, up the hill and up the steep path to the Country Club (yes, yes, oooh, get me and all that). It’s a walk of about 20 minutes, maybe 25 and is quite useful for warming up before throwing myself into the gym session.

Cromer Lighthouse, next to the Country Club

The way home, however, I choose the scenic route. Up the road just a few hundred meters and out here, at the lighthouse.

The view from the lighthouse over Cromer and the sea

From the front of the lighthouse you get quite a good view of the sea and of Cromer (to the left). You’ll note the church spire. That used to be the old lighthouse (hence it being so tall) and is roughly where I’m headed on this journey to meet the parents.

A steep set of steps from the top of the cliff to the beach

From the lighthouse it’s down a little path to the cliff edge and then down a pretty steep set of steps. If you didn’t know they were there you’d probably not find them as they’re not very well marked from the top.

A view of the beach from halfway down the stairs

It’s well worth locating them though as the view is pretty good from them.

The church and the pier

Once on the beach it’s a left turn and walk until we get to the pier. You can see the pier and the church here which should give you a rough idea of where I’ve walked too in the second picture above.

Cromer Pier

I’m headed for the end of the pier where there is a little theatre (that I’ve yet to go to) and a little bar/coffee shop. On the weekends that my mother is down and not too busy with her jigsaws we meet up here and have a coffee and a chat before heading into town and then home.

Due to illness and being away I’ve not been to the gym or played squash for a couple of weeks now. The diet, which is technically a weight maintenance diet now, also appears to have gone out of the window with many treats recently. There was just a tiny bit of trepidation when I stepped on the scales today. Was all my hard work to get under 13 stone (182lbs or 82.6Kg for you foreigners) about to be undone? Was I, once again (according to some abstract and apparently wildly incorrect measure) overweight?

No. I may have even lost half a pound, but it’s hard to tell with those scales so I was harsh and recorded it as 12 stone 11. This is under 13 stone and, given the past two weeks, a great result. Despite the treats and the lack of any real exercise (the was some walking last week) the weight maintenance diet is working. Corny as it sounds the habits I picked up on the diet and the new dinners I have must be paying off