Eating Disorders and Lies
The red car and the blue car had a race - Good start, we’ve introduced the main players, identified the situation we’re in.
All red wants to do is stuff his face – OK, not exactly what you’d expect from a story involving two cars, but now we’ve anthropomorphised the cars and indicated that reds mind may not be entirely on the aforementioned race. Still, twists are what keep a story interesting.
He eats everything he sees, from trucks to prickly trees – Now this is a worrying development. A car, ordinarily, eats things derived from hydrocarbons. Since we have anthropomorphised these vehicles we’d possibly expect them to be eating human foods, but trucks and prickly trees are just completely left field and smack of a serious eating disorder. Think about it, here we have a vehicle that is so desperate to stuff it’s face with food that it will eat its own kind, namely a truck that is many times its size. This is very worrying.
But smart old blue he took the milky way – Great, so we’re congratulated blue for being ‘normal’. Never mind that red has a serious psychological disorder and is in need of help, no, smart old blue, doesn’t eat trucks. Isn’t he clever.
He’s looking for a chocolate treat fluffy and light – Talk about rubbing it in. Red probably has big self image problems and blue is simply thinking of himself and taunting red with his desire to eat chocolate. Furthermore, by describing it as a ‘treat’ we’re reinforcing the idea that blue is somehow better than red because he’s more normal.
Cos he knows it won’t spoil his appetite – Lies! When this was rereleased in 2009 the line was changed to ‘Cos he knows it tastes just right’. Why would they do that? The only reason I can think of is that advertising standards have got a lot more stringent since the advert was first released and they can no longer tell us that Milky Way won’t spoil your appetite (Yes, this tawdry tale of alienation against those with eating disorders is an for a chocolate bar which showed in the UK some years ago and was repeated last year… what did you think I was on about?) So what are they saying now? What is the message being put across now? A chocolate bar tastes nicer than prickly trees and trucks. Well duh!
Oh no! the bridge has gone, old red can’t carry on – Poor old red, just because he eats weird stuff he’s supposed to be a porker that can’t complete the race. What about blue? Blue stuffs his face with chocolate which, contrary to advice given in previous year, probably does ruin your appetite and, by extension, probably isn’t as good for you as was once implied.
But smart old blue, he took the milky way – which makes you realise that blue is an annoying suck up. Oh, smart old blue, isn’t he clever. Makes you wish the bridge went out with blue on it.